Internet Trends That Need to Die II
So the first part of this series was a big hit, and I'm pretty sure I mentioned a volume two would be in the works. To prove I can be productive and stuff, here is part two. Slightly sarcastic and only half-serious, like the previous volume.
Here are some more trends that need to die:
Vertical CSS Block Navigation
Possibly the most overused trend to date. If you haven't noticed this trend you've either been in a) denial, or b) living in a cave. Now I admit in the beginning these were pretty awesome. Nice and clean, simple yet they could be spruced up nicely, easy to use/understand, etc. Somewhere along the line, however, everyone decided that Hey! Spruced up nicely works for me! and it all went downhill from there. Let's not kid ourselves here. 90% of these "navigation menus" are copied and pasted from someone else's source. Just once, I'd like to see someone use either semantic lists or even image maps. Something different, I beg of you.
Using <div>'s As Headings
Now this is just plain mean. Why must you abuse the lovely <div> tag so? Listen up, dipshits, it's lesson time. In the HTML language, each tag (ex: <div>) has a purpose. Headings (<h1>, <h2>, etc.) are there for a reason. And you know, good ol' HTML doesn't make it hard for us! Heading tags are for... headings. Bold tags are for... bolding. Divider tags are for... you guessed it, dividing things! Okay, maybe not exactly, but dividers do not equal headings. This is just an example of code theft, to be perfectly honest with you. Instead of actually going out and learning things the old fashioned way, people decide to be lazy and 'borrow' code. Quite frankly, I am disgusted and I hope you and your website die.
Simplicity Taken To An Extreme
I'm a true fan of nice, simple layouts. I like fluid layouts as well. However, this whole Web 2.0 frenzy has just made people go completely anal with their layouts. You know the kind I'm talking about. White background, light grey background as a header (no images), links on the right in a darker grey color, some pixels, maybe a little headings styling, and that is it. That's where it ends. Because, as long as it's valid, who cares, right? Wrong, lazy ass! Details are everything. Simplify all you want, but don't sit there and strip your website to the bare minimum and expect it to be aesthetically pleasing. Try to exercise your Photoshop muscle. (And I say Photoshop because we all know anything but really just sucks.)
Reads Do Not Equal Content
If I had a dollar for every website that has "Reads" under their content section, let's just say I wouldn't be sitting here on my butt surfing website after website laughing at said "Reads". This one's pretty obvious: READS ARE NOT CONTENT. If I wanted to read some lame/retarded excerpt, poem, prose, and/or story, I would log in to my Myspace account and browse my bulletins. And by the way? You do not OWN these Reads, so why are you re-distributing them like condoms in a classroom? Please, just give it up. End this Failing at Life cycle you have going on. Make an effort and actually provide visitors something worthwhile. It's the least you can do.
Cutting Up Images + Scribbles =/= Layout
Okay, I have had enough of these "layouts." Basically you take five (six, eight...) really hideous images, cut them up into messy squares, add a couple of swirly/dot brushes you stole from some random website, and then open up Paint and scribble "borders" on them. Sounds ridiculous, right? As bad as it sounds, it's even worse actually seeing it live. What happened to making decent, and dare I say, pretty, layouts? Has that trend just decided to disappear completely, never to return again? I mean, I'll even take the repeating image trend, where basically the entire layout was one main image repeated over and over again. Yes, even that is better than a layout that looks like a kindergarten collage. For God's sake, people, let's stop being so damn lazy. In fact, I'm thinking of renaming this article The Lazy Bumfuck Chronicles, it's that bad.
If you'd like to contribute to the overall well-being of the internet as it exists today, do your e-kind a favor and direct them to the above article. Do your good deed of the day, and help a brotha out.