I hate your blog
Blogs nowadays suck. I wish there was a nicer way to say it, but there isn't, so I'll just call it like I see it: your blog sucks major ass. Lately my e-routine goes a little like this: I'll visit a blog, start to read it, end up skimming, give up, and move on to the next blog. Nothing holds my interest long enough for me to actually read it through, much less comment on it.
Some of you will type up two paragraphs telling me what you did/saw/inhaled today, or type up a half-assed article on "webdesign" and your "tips", or even worse, tell me in detail what you're planning to purchase online. It's boring. It's been done. I'm tired of it.
Some might say, "But Sarai, lots of people comment on my blogs, so that tells me they like them!", "I get such and such comments, so I must be doing something right!", or even "Whatever, Sarai. Go sit on a giant dildo or something." But just because you get a lot of comments doesn't necessarily mean your visitors like what they read. Sometimes I'll comment just so someone will check out my blog or newest layout. I bet anything that half of the comments you get are from people who want you to check out their site, and not because your entry was interesting or worth reading.
I also don't get the whole I Must Blog Every Day Or The World Will Explode mentality. Let your blog sit there a day or two so that everyone has a chance to read it. Sometimes I'll read a blog and think of a comment to type up later, but when I return to comment there are three new entries at the top and I don't have the energy to find what I'm looking for. Plus, I guarantee your life isn't so interesting that your readers want to check up on you daily. Unless your name is V or Heather and you possess that ability to make anything funny, interesting, and/or inspiring (and we've already established that most of you can't).
Now I'm not saying all of your entries suck. Or that you never write one inspiring or thought provoking article. It's hard to know who most of you are, though. Since you all sound the same and all. And if you think I'm just talking out of my ass (and I admit I do that sometimes, but trust me, this isn't it) look at what most bloggers are resorting to: memes. Yeah. It's serious.
While I'm at it -- this twitter bullshit? It needs to stop. I don't care when you had your last coffee, if you feel like dying, what your husband wants for dinner, or the last time you took a shit. No one cares enough about a person to want to stalk them throughout the day. If anyone reads an interesting twitter, please point me to it. Because I'm a huge skeptic at the moment, and feel the entire thing is just pointless.
Oh, and NaploPomo, while a good idea in practice, seems to have made everything worse. All of a sudden every event in your life is an excuse to blog. I swear, if someone were to slip on a banana in the morning they'll rush home, blog about the incident, their feelings on said incident, give the banana a fucking memorial service (sometimes with a picture or drawing), and then stick a "helpful" list at the bottom telling me How To Avoid Looking Like an Ass.
I wish I had tips on better blogging, or how you can improve your blog but really all it takes is a little googling and some patience. Unfortunately for some of you, improving your blog is pointless seeing as your writing sucks to begin with, so subject matter is the least of your problems. I'd work on sentence structure, spelling, and humor first. In that order.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a huge dildo to sit on.