Respect

“Respect must be earned” is a phrase most of us have heard before, and something that should be put into practice as we go about our daily lives. It’s basic manners and common sense. Yet some people, specifically adults, don’t seem to realize its importance.

When I’m around adults I respect them by default, because I was raised to be a decent human being. However, this respect is not permanent; it exists only until the other person makes me think otherwise. And once that respect is lost, it takes a lot to earn it back. I don’t hold grudges, but I’m not a child, and if you want my respect you must treat me accordingly.

In my opinion, adults are basically teenagers trapped in an older person’s body, with responsibilities, assets, and a bit of experience. Age to me is nothing but a number. Some adults have a lot more growing up to do, and even those that don’t still have a lot to learn and experience. They’re no better or smarter than I—they’re just a couple of years older. So naturally, it irritates the hell out of me when they demand my respect without earning it. It irritates me even more when they’re rude, immature, or just plain assholes and still demand my respect, almost as if it’s expected.

I’m sorry, but if that’s the kind of game they’re into, the kind where they can act however they want and hide behind their “adult status”, then I refuse to play. And that goes for adults and people my age. There shouldn’t be a difference, and to me, there isn’t. We should all respect eachother regardless of age or status.

And if you’re not ready to join in this little game I like to call Manners And Common Decency, you’ll have to step the fuck aside. The grown ups have some things to discuss.


I’ve always had a problem with the word, or the concept, of respect. Yes, respect should be earnt, not deserved. However, when you say that you treat adults with respect by default, wouldn’t it be more correct to use a term more like courtesy?

The way I see it, I treat everyone with courtesy. However, only those who deserve it, do I treat with respect. The two I think, can be mutually exclusive.

Posted by Amanda on March 23, 2008

I am generally polite to most adults (or well anyone I have to deal with, really), because I was raised that way. But I truly feel for you. It has happened to me a lot. Especially older people (strangers) like to boss me around because I look rather younger than my age *sulks*

Posted by Vera on March 23, 2008

Some adults (I’m talking about the near-mid-life-crisis cranky ones) believe that with age, comes other people’s respect.  The librarian at my school is like that. If a kid responded to her with anything less than sweet words and smiles, she’d turn stern and give a lecture on respect. We’re 17, 18 year-olds! You can’t treat us like we’re inferior or something.

So yes, I agree with much of what you said in the article. Some adults need to clue in. But I wonder, will I be cranky and assertive of the respect due to me in say, 20 years? Hmm…

Posted by Crystal on March 23, 2008

I agree with basically everything you said.  Generally I am polite to everyone even when they themselves lack manners but only up to a certain point.

I don’t think some people realize how ill-mannered they really are and how they come across.

Posted by Leslie on March 23, 2008

I agree with this post, but I don’t know if respect has to be earned, necessarily. I guess it depends on how you define respect, but I was always taught to respect everyone by default (like what you said in your second paragraph). I think it’s hard sometimes to see the nuances between courtesy, respect, and admiration. To me, in general, courtesy should be extended to everyone, respect should be extended to everyone unless someone does something to lose it, and admiration is always earned.

Yeah, it’s annoying how some adults seem to think they deserve more respect no matter what.

Posted by Meg on March 23, 2008

Everyone has my respect until they do something to lose it. This includes adults and teenagers alike. I’ve met very mature teenagers and very immature adults. People don’t get my respect based on their age, the get my respect based on what they do and how they go about it.

Posted by Sean on March 23, 2008

I’m the same way. I don’t care how old a person is. If they don’t treat me with respect, why should I treat them with respect?

Posted by Britney on March 24, 2008

I also hate it when adults tell me things like: “what do you know, you’re just a kid”—and I’m about to graduate college!

My mother loves doing that shit, and I have to resist the urge to tell her off real good—doing so would give her 1000 additional reasons to bitch about how “immature” I am!

Posted by Robmarie on March 24, 2008

I completely agree with you! I know so many adults who exhibit appalling behaviour, and some young people who are very intelligent and articulate and far more deserving of respect than the aforementioned adults!

Posted by Holly on March 25, 2008

In reply to Robmarie, I HATE being treated like a kid. I turn 20 this year, for crying out loud! I also hate being called “little girl” by older people. Annoys the hell out of me!

Posted by Britney on March 25, 2008

I completely agree with this post.  I’m only 15, but I learned the “respect” lesson a long time ago.  Hehe, I actually had a rant about this a while ago about this girl in my history class who had the audacity to DEMAND the teacher for respect when she had been talking the entire period!  Respect is reciprocal; we need to treat others we want to be treated.

Posted by Regina on March 25, 2008