My Self-Diagnosis

I know self-diagnosing on the internet is frowned upon, but for the sake of this entry I’m just going to gently push Reason aside and continue with my self-diagnosis, because I can. I suffer from Lazy Ass Syndrome (you might have heard of it), and the evidence I will present will hopefully be so strong that my self-diagnosis will be accepted even by Those Who Frown.

Evidence:

  1. Instead of getting up to close my door so that Leo doesn’t fly from the kitchen, around the corner, and onto my shoulder to annoy me, I’ll pick up a binder sitting next to me, lean over, and attempt to close the door with it. This saves me the added stress and time of getting up and walking two feet.
  2. Instead of grabbing a dinner plate from the kitchen, I grab a paper plate sitting on the counter so that later on after I finish eating I won’t have to turn on the faucet and rinse the plate. It’s better to just bend a few degrees and chuck the paper plate in the trash.
  3. Instead of walking into the kitchen and getting some ice for the lukewarm water sitting on my desk I, well, don’t.
  4. When running out really quick to do some errands, I put my hair in a bun rather than taking the time to brush it out. All five strands that are left, that is.
  5. Instead of getting up to turn on the lightswitch for the fan, I sit on my couch and melt into a nice fleshy puddle from the heat.
  6. When someone calls, I let the machine pick up rather than answer the phone, and when my Mom yells at me through the answering machine to “ANSWER THE PHONE, SARY!”, I pretend not to hear.
  7. Instead of blogging every two days like I used to, I let my blog sit for four of five days and update my About page for the upteenth time for no reason but to stall.

Those are but a few symptoms of LAS I’ve experienced in the past day. I’ve heard there’s a cure somewhere, but I’m too lazy to find out. 


A cure...hmm...motivation? :P Sorry, I haven’t got the foggiest as to how you can be helped, hah.

Posted by Annie on July 23, 2008

Annie’s right. There’s definitely no cure for this. You shall be afflicted for the rest of your life. :(

Posted by Amber on July 23, 2008

I totally suffer from this, too. It comes in bouts. XD

Posted by Sarah on July 23, 2008

Well, I guess I’ve got it too, because I do almost everything you listed. And really, I thought those things were unique to me, the Lazy Queen.
I also do stuff like kick people’s shoes into their rooms when I’m forced to clean instead of bending down and picking them up, and I dump my clean clothes on my bed and leave them there for weeks, getting all bunched up, rather than just folding them and put them away. And a million other things… I am lazy to the point of shamefulness.

Posted by Kristen on July 23, 2008

I seem to have something like that except I use people (e.g. little siblings) to do things for me :P

Poor little things just hate being my slaves.

Posted by Niki on July 23, 2008

If you happen on this “cure”, please to let the rest of us know? :D In the meanwhile...*somehow reclines in this remarkably uncomfortable posture-building chair and nods off*

I’m in the throes of LAS at the moment. It’s surely bad that I can’t remember the last time I did something productive. Hope it eases up (at least slightly) for you when school comes round again...in a month...damn. What I wouldn’t give for another month off. :P

Posted by Xuan on July 23, 2008

Glad to know I’m not the only one whose mom yells at her through the answering machine. :P

I think I have the first symptoms of LAS, but it’s nothing serious yet.

Posted by Clem on July 23, 2008

I suffer from this too.

The cure is a little sister who you can boss around.

Posted by Shen-Shen on July 23, 2008

LAS is common among the Summer.  The cure is autumn.

Posted by Lish on July 23, 2008

I suffer from LAS when I know that there’s nothing else to do. Which is actually a lot in the summer time, and any other time in general. I guess this is one of the reasons why sloth is one of the seven deadly sins.

Posted by Merinn on July 23, 2008

Strange. My previous comment is… not my previous comment.

*niki wrote this* :P

Posted by Niki on July 24, 2008

Oh. Sorry. I got confused.

I feel like I’m spamming your comments :P

Posted by Niki on July 24, 2008

Hahaha, I get the same thing. When I try explaining exactly why I do the things I do (holding pee in as an incentive to get off the computer, so I only need to get up once after turning off the computer, go pee and go to bed. Rather than going to pee, coming back and sitting on the computer for an even longer period of time. In my logic it makes perfect sense!), people think I’m nuts.

Posted by Jess on July 24, 2008

Hahaha! I think I have this too, perhaps it’s more common than we think!? :O

Posted by Holly on July 24, 2008

I have the same problem. :o And judging by the number of people here who do, it’s turning into an epidemic.

Posted by Meg on July 24, 2008

Your list made me feel better that this morning I picked up a cotton ball with my toes (too lazy to bend, you see) and then still used it (from off the floor, plucked up with my foot) to remove eye makeup. 
Fun blog, btw.

Posted by Sorcia McNasty on July 25, 2008
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