Friendships and other things
Friendships are really hard, man. But to be fair, I believe one of the reasons I think they are so hard is because I take a good friendship very seriously. When I say a good friendship, I’m not talking about someone I talk to on a bi-weekly basis, or an acquaintance I met through a friend. I know plenty of those kinds of people, and they’re nice to talk to and even convenient. I’m talking about someone who I can be openly honest with, who I can share my thoughts and opinions with on any kind of subject, someone I talk to regularly, and of course someone I enjoy spending time with. And unfortunately for me, not everyone falls under this “standard” I’ve set for what qualifies as a friend.
So when I do meet someone who meets these little “requirements,” I make an effort and effort takes a little out of me. Some people are worth it, some aren’t. But I’m starting to see that more people fall under the latter. They’re just not worth anyone’s time and effort. I’ve also seen friends who start off being very close and then slowly drift apart because of differences, or schedules. It’s hard to keep up that pace.
Like I said, it takes effort and a lot of patience, and a while ago I decided I was going to be a lot more choosy when it came to making (and keeping) friends. I appreciate my acquaintances, and of course I hang out with them and have a good time, but I don’t expect anything from them and they don’t expect anything from me, and it works out quite nicely. I hope I make sense. I get the feeling I sound like a douchebag.
Anyway, once in a while I meet what I like to think of as the Best Kind of Amigo. This person doesn’t require a lot of time or effort out of me, because they don’t demand a lot of time and attention. I’ve met one or two, and I think these are the kinds of people I’ll stay friends with for a long time. In the past I’ve had friends who would whine about everything, rape my attention for the stupidest things, call me up just to rant about pointless shit I advised them against in the first place, take me for granted, etc (I’m sure you’ve experienced some of this). And I just don’t have time. I have so many things I need to be focusing on right now.
Do any of you have a really close group of friends? How do you balance time with them, how do you stay close, and do you have any little “requirements” for friendships? Do you think I’m ridiculous in being choosy with friends? Are my standards too high? Should I stop asking questions? ‘Kay.